Dr. Kenton Wakes Up - May 21, 2025
[Once Bitten, Twice Shy · Ian Hunter ℗ 1975 Sony Music Entertainment Inc.]
The thing that’s on my mind today is… an episode between myself and my former boss.
One of my jobs was to coordinate the accreditation effort for our college. A very high-pressure set of responsibilities, especially if things go poorly. At some point near the major deadlines of this primary responsibility, the other additional demands of my job were becoming such that I felt like I needed some help or relief.
My boss had told me previously that if I needed any help to just ask. So, while feeling like I was going to get crushed by the volume of work I was expected to complete, I said that I could really benefit if somebody took something off my plate, or if somebody could be assigned to help me, for the next month or so to get all these things done that I needed to do.
That request was denied, somewhat as expected. My former boss was a bit of a cheapskate.
However, when it came time for annual review, the fact that I asked for help, was turned into an admission that I was incapable of doing my full job.
Upon reading this in the draft I was allowed to review, I went back in and I said, this statement is untrue for two reasons:
- The request I made for help was invited.
- The request was not requited.
So, these comments about my ability to do my job fully seem like a complaint without merit.
Ultimately, that statement got removed from my official AR form.
This seems pertinent now because I am also feeling overwhelmed right now. And when I share with trusted allies, their comments often come back as, “Hey, Jeff, when you’re feeling overwhelmed and tired and a little bit buried under, why don’t you just ask for help?”
“Once bitten, twice shy” I guess.
All right, love you bye.